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Is breastfeeding compatible with a healthy sex life? Of course it is! Sex may be the last thing on a new mother's mind, whether or not she breastfeeds. But eventually those familiar desires will return, and parents of a breastfed baby might find themselves with a new set of concerns intruding into their intimate relations.
A nursing mother may find that her sexual desire does not return for quite a while following the baby's birth. This is hardly surprising, considering the usual state of sleep deprivation. The hormones that produce milk can interfere with the libido as well. And after a day of nursing, a woman may feel "touched out" and consider her partner's desire for intimacy as just another chore. New moms' thoughts usually center on the baby, and it can be difficult to shift those mental gears during the first few months. Fathers should understand that this is normal, and shouldn't push a new mother to have sex before she's ready. Doing so can build resentment and anger. Instead, re-acquaint yourselves with each other by cuddling, giving massages, and participating in other activities that don't necessarily lead to intercourse.
Night Nursing and Co-Sleeping
It's hard to concentrate on sexual enjoyment when a tiny baby sleeps nearby. Every movement or sound that the baby makes becomes a distraction, and it never fails that just when things start to heat up, the baby wakes for a feeding. The solution may be a change of scenery - the bedroom isn't the only possible location for sexual pleasure. Being interrupted, however, is just a fact of life for parents. It happens whether the baby is five months or five years of age; you'll adjust.
Further complicating matters, many parents choose to co-sleep with the baby. Instead of sleeping with the baby between the parents, consider a "sidecar" arrangement. Some cribs can be tucked up against the side of the bed with one rail removed, and attached securely so there isn't a gap. When the baby is older, he can sleep on the outside of the bed next to a sturdy rail. You might also consider putting the baby to bed in his own crib at bedtime, and bringing him into your bed if he wakes later in the night. This gives you ample opportunity for "couple time" before the baby needs your company.
Due to the hormones involved in lactation, mothers may find a reduction in lubrication during sexual intercourse. This can cause pain and discomfort, but it's easy to solve. Several lubricants are available for intimate use - KY Jelly, Astroglide, and Replens are some products made specifically for this purpose. Don't use petroleum-based products such as Vaseline, especially if using a condom.