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Couples are usually admonished to wait to have sex after the mother's six-week checkup when presumably your doctor will give you the go-ahead. In reality most couples wait until 7 or 8 weeks after the birth of the baby to have sex.
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Lochia, or postpartum bleeding and discharge, can last for up to six weeks but averages about 21 days. Breastfeeding your baby at least for the first month is highly recommended for several reasons. It is nature's way of forming a bond between you and your baby, it helps your uterus to return to normal and it reduces the number of days you will bleed.
Conception is unlikely but completely possible if you are breastfeeding so if you want to make sure you don't get pregnant it is best to use contraception. While you are breastfeeding you should use progestin-only birth control pills or shots of progesterone as combined oral contraceptives are contraindicated (they can reduce the volume and make-up of breast milk). An IUD cannot be inserted until the uterus has completely healed. If you were using a diaphragm before your pregnancy you will need to wait about six weeks and then check to see if you need a new size fitted. To be especially cautious about keeping your breast milk pristine for your new baby, you may wish to use condoms instead. Both the female condom and standard condoms offer protection from pregnancy as well as protection from sexually transmitted infections.
Reduced estrogen levels after the delivery of your baby can cause less vaginal lubrication. Prolactin and oxytocin, which are produced by your body when you nurse your baby, can also interfere with lubrication. Vaginal dryness can last up to six months and it's helpful to know that this is normal and no indication of a lagging sex drive. Simply use a personal lubricant for sex during this dry phase.
Vaginal childbirth can reduce the tone of your pubococcygeus (PC) muscles and this in turn can make your orgasms feel less intense. To remedy this situation, be sure to do PC exercises which will help restore muscular tone to the vagina. These are also called Kegel exercises and you can do them anytime and anywhere. Simply contract and relax the same muscles you use to stop and start a flow of urine. Just squeeze, hold, relax and repeat! You might want to do 50 to 100 repetitions of your Kegel exercises daily.
Orgasmic contractions during sex also help the uterus to return to its normal state so sex has health benefits to a new mother as long as she waits until she is properly healed. Even after your doctor tells you that you may resume your normal sexual activity, you should be prepared for some temporary changes. You may still feel tender or tight or looser than usual. As mentioned before, your orgasms may not be as intense as before until your PC muscles are toned once again, so be sure to do your PC exercises! And it's not unusual for breast milk to leak or even spray at the moment of orgasm, especially if your breasts are full. This can be erotic for some couples. But if you are the fastidious type you might want to keep a towel handy!